Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
how does that bad decision feel?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
