I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
