Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
