He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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