Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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