my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize