I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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