Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
