She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
