i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
