carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
