So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I die, sorry about rent.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
