In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Pants 0. Shit 1.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
