Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
