I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you would pick up someone in the library
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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