I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
