Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
