I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
