The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
