I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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