what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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