OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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