White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
