If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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