No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
