Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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