just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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