Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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