hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
false alarm. still invincible.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
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We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
