i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
