We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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