R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
