Who did Billy Mays play for?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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