Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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