Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
