Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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