Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
