Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
