can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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