sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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