U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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