he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just threw up on my dentist
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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