he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
