I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize