i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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