Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
