i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
