wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
