ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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