We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
