She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms