Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need moral support for this bender
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.