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My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.