I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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