Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.

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(330): cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank. http://tfl.nu/47xc

Replies (8) Good night (1803) Bad night (587)
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(770): View more from Georgia

should I fuck that poor girl

(1-770): View more from Georgia

no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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(770): should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion http://tfl.nu/i8cj

Replies (30) Good night (795) Bad night (4845)
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(914): View more from New York

I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...

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(914): I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you... http://tfl.nu/2hf7

Replies (59) Good night (11400) Bad night (1482)
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(630): View more from Illinois

When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.

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(630): When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast. http://tfl.nu/nqf8

Replies (16) Good night (9279) Bad night (1110)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

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(919): Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate http://tfl.nu/0wu1

Replies (3) Good night (4794) Bad night (994)
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(310): View more from California

Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face

(310): View more from California

On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?

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(310): Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face (310): On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people? http://tfl.nu/ezwy

Replies (6) Good night (2024) Bad night (691)
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(914): View more from New York

He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF

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(914): He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF http://tfl.nu/rz1g

Replies (19) Good night (3873) Bad night (1499)
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(239): View more from Florida

I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

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(239): I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life. http://tfl.nu/rpst

Replies (1) Good night (1216) Bad night (620)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

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(860): How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex. http://tfl.nu/eztj

Replies (8) Good night (1981) Bad night (645)
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(716): View more from New York

Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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(716): Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day. http://tfl.nu/hsum

Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (543)
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(239): View more from Florida

COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING

(646): View more from New York

(239): View more from Florida

Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?

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(239): COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING (646): (239): Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that? http://tfl.nu/ilq5

Replies (2) Good night (1331) Bad night (764)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?

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(774): What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/2yid

Replies (9) Good night (348) Bad night (1367)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."

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(+61): I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight." http://tfl.nu/s0wa

Replies (7) Good night (392) Bad night (215)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.

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(816): I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo. http://tfl.nu/f2jj

Replies (8) Good night (549) Bad night (258)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.

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(814): Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked. http://tfl.nu/rs7h

Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (520)

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