I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.