so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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