i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
