Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
