Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
