I am in a vortex of obligation.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
