Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
