Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
