Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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