i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize