I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
