problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
