....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
