Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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