he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
